Made human think I wanted him to pet my belly

Made human think I wanted him to pet my belly

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Mauled the sh** out of his arm

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Look, I'm hooman
When you rpet falls asleep in your lap
She loves reminding me I'm basically my husband's side chick
Someone pet me once. ONCE.
She's here every day getting rubdowns and snacks
Made human think I wanted him to pet my belly - Mauled the Sh** out of his arm
When you begin dating someone new and yuor pet becomes jealous
And that was the last time the paper towel smirked at Bob
It's my goal to be this calm when things are falling apart
If you lose your pet in an unfamiliar area - Contact the local running club
Well human... what did we learn?
My new kitten just fell asleep against the wall